Good-Natured Sportsmanship

The only dog dropped in the First Series was FC-AFC Tanks For The Magic, "Maggie," and her owner, Joe Benage, wrote this notification to the National Open:

Hear Ye Hear Ye: You are hereby notified that a lawsuit has been filed in the Federal District Court of TX seeking injunctive relief and demanding that the National Retriever Trial be halted immediately pending hearings on allegations of conspiracy, fraud and non- transparency in its execution. The evidence may show:

 

1. An especially large and noisy cock pheasant was shot multiple times creating a commotion beyond all reasonable expectations for an 8-year-old female lab to observe without natural instinct causing her to immediately seek to retrieve such bird in a brisk and pleasing manner.

 

2. The utter lack of transparency violating all norms of fair and due process in that said 8-year-old female and her professional handler were denied the opportunity to retrieve said pheasant on steroids and thus offer incontrovertible proof of the violation of all sense of fairness. Nor was the said pheasant inspected or set aside for later inspection? Claimants ask: what are they hiding; what are they afraid of? Reasonable questions demanding responses, in the opinion of this Court. 

 

3. A conspiracy involving both the bird team and the gunners, who in addition to including in the bird box said pheasant on steroids but also who failed to shoot several birds before said 8-year-old female ran, resulting in many no birds, and increasing the excitement and undeniable effect of said especially large and noisy cock pheasant on said female lab. 

 

4. The lawsuit does not claim that in all events this fraud was aimed squarely at the particular victims in this case, although according to the verified pleadings that remains a definite possibility and such claim is is not waived. It is claimed that the evidence may show instead, an even deeper and more malevolent conspiracy, also involving the judges, all male the Court notes, intended to discriminate against female competitors by insuring that at least one female lab is dropped knowing that no males would be dropped given the level of difficulty of the test. In addition, or alternatively, the evidence may show that said fraudulent and otherwise wrongful acts of the co-conspirators were intended to show that said judges are “in charge” and that any competitor is at all times “at risk” of being dropped from the competition notwithstanding the benign appearance of any test. The Court notes that, according to the verified pleadings, the said 8-year-old female lab has never broken once in her stellar career and was especially steady and consistent during the recent Fall campaign. 

 

5. A hearing has been set for 2 pm this afternoon. Ignore at risk of contempt and possible imprisonment. 

Respectfully, 

Judge Judy 

Fed District Court

Austin TX

 

WHAT A SPORTSMAN!   :-)